tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post1050016295529058760..comments2024-03-28T05:05:30.116-04:00Comments on mainewords: First Impressions - Soullessmshatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06308916014310536449noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post-6318269184780510292014-06-06T17:24:23.818-04:002014-06-06T17:24:23.818-04:00I really like this passage! It has excellent flow....I really like this passage! It has excellent flow. I like the way she alternates between longer sentences and fragments.Stephaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02187854108656107958noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post-7068116584077379862014-06-06T14:37:18.171-04:002014-06-06T14:37:18.171-04:00Great critique, as always. And I agree... I think ...Great critique, as always. And I agree... I think I need to read Book One, too. (Come to think of it, I might even already have it on my Kindle.)<br /><br />However, I disagree with you about the date. Not everyone who reads this book will have read the first one, so I think it's a good idea to place it in time for those unfortunate readers.<br /><br />Like I already said on Dianne's blog, I think this is a terrific first page. Sure made a great first impression on ME!<br />Susan Flett Swiderskihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09425315552148200073noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post-50370387307778785522014-06-05T19:42:47.929-04:002014-06-05T19:42:47.929-04:00Good critique, and I really liked Crystal's MO...Good critique, and I really liked Crystal's MOONLESS. Sequels really have to recap carefully--too much and you'll annoy people who remember everything, and not enough and you'll frustrate the ones who can't remember much. And sentences like that lace curtain one are tough!--the subject of the sentence is probably the twisting item, but since the verb is close to the shadow creatures (or even the floor) it can sound like it refers to those things instead. Carol Riggshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14092209912983783974noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post-45271267464404121192014-06-05T13:16:17.203-04:002014-06-05T13:16:17.203-04:00nice style of writing, but I don't do that gen...nice style of writing, but I don't do that genre.... DEZMONDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14127166104359407763noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post-15568491352122096492014-06-05T04:52:51.783-04:002014-06-05T04:52:51.783-04:00Sequels are tough--you have a group of readers who...Sequels are tough--you have a group of readers who read the first book and are familiar with it and a group of readers who didn't read the first book, so the book has to be a standalone one, as well. You don't want to overwhelm the reader with details from the other books but you have to work in a few things to let new readers know what's gong on. This looks great to me--I haven't read the first book yet and I could jump right in. I'd rather read the first book first, though!Stephanie Farishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10461865229341760836noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post-82525763059998062462014-06-04T23:40:40.609-04:002014-06-04T23:40:40.609-04:00It sounded okay to me, but I'm usually easy to...It sounded okay to me, but I'm usually easy to please and don't catch nuances of editing. The story sounds like a good one.<br /><br />Lee<br /><a href="http://afarawayview.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow"> A Faraway View</a><br />Arlee Birdhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11663942782929929334noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post-60349943409679720622014-06-04T22:15:01.686-04:002014-06-04T22:15:01.686-04:00I agree that tightening up the language in those a...I agree that tightening up the language in those areas would make everything flow much smoother. They're small points but would make a big difference.Stevenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06837639807533435390noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post-10420579552717536552014-06-04T15:31:03.720-04:002014-06-04T15:31:03.720-04:00Marcy! Great thoughts. Thank you so much for havin...Marcy! Great thoughts. Thank you so much for having me here today. Awesome suggestions.Crystal Collierhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03912469552483168148noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post-89809236205202317962014-06-04T11:31:20.468-04:002014-06-04T11:31:20.468-04:00It's very interesting. Those shadow things ar...It's very interesting. Those shadow things are creepy and cool.<br /><br />I'm not sure about the Father passage. I think I need to read book 1 to really get it. Well done!Mina Burrowshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14483363743530076604noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post-87808463865928200792014-06-04T10:13:42.409-04:002014-06-04T10:13:42.409-04:00It's always interesting to see two different c...It's always interesting to see two different critiques / reactions to the same text. Dianne had some great points and so do you. And I’m with ya, Marcy--I need to get book one!Elise Fallsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14734537117333738468noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post-59762888923185426352014-06-04T09:24:40.385-04:002014-06-04T09:24:40.385-04:00Nice excerpt. And I love the photo at the top. My ...Nice excerpt. And I love the photo at the top. My lupine are finally mature enough to get those huge blooms. I'm insanely proud of them. :)Luanne G. Smithhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15762881276976395955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post-90252794830618827542014-06-04T08:57:19.156-04:002014-06-04T08:57:19.156-04:00Great comments, Marcy! Other than that, I'm wi...Great comments, Marcy! Other than that, I'm with Alex. S.A. Larsenッhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06241633272588383935noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post-67996790187063161872014-06-04T06:50:04.329-04:002014-06-04T06:50:04.329-04:00I didn't see much wrong with it at all - flowe...I didn't see much wrong with it at all - flowed well and with personality. Yeah, better read the first one before this one comes out!Alex J. Cavanaughhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09770065693345181702noreply@blogger.com