tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post2205239073932736750..comments2024-03-28T05:05:30.116-04:00Comments on mainewords: First Impressions - Curiosity Killsmshatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06308916014310536449noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post-72393070262083501962016-12-27T09:14:03.695-05:002016-12-27T09:14:03.695-05:00It takes bravery to share a critiqued piece for pu...It takes bravery to share a critiqued piece for public viewing. This shows great potential and I'm grateful to informative critique partners. I learned some things from this, too. Thank you for this, my dears.Darla M Sandshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18212760625717298992noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post-22534976711507940372016-12-24T00:46:03.569-05:002016-12-24T00:46:03.569-05:00Stopping by very late on this post just to wish yo...Stopping by very late on this post just to wish you a very merry Christmas and a joyful New Year.LD Mastersonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01202135756299574972noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post-82408818095151060772016-12-22T04:42:56.000-05:002016-12-22T04:42:56.000-05:00Great job! You do well with character development ...Great job! You do well with character development (the voice thing). Watch use of the word "though." I always watch that because I have a tendency to overuse it. Also, you don't need both "white" and "pale" to describe his face. One or the other should be sufficient.Shannon Lawrencehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00934641808195675935noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post-10798373929931690002016-12-07T14:04:28.687-05:002016-12-07T14:04:28.687-05:00I already commented on Dianne's blog, but it&#...I already commented on Dianne's blog, but it's always fun (and informative) to see your take on the same work, too. Great advise, Marcie! I really liked the line about him faking the strong voice to impress the girls, too. :)<br /><br />Sorry to hear about the health issues. I wish a speedy recovery to your family member. And you? Get to writing! Only four chapters to go!!!<br /><br />Seeya next year.Susan Flett Swiderskihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09425315552148200073noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post-77436764793178572322016-12-05T14:35:02.440-05:002016-12-05T14:35:02.440-05:00I agree with you on all counts. Particularly on t...I agree with you on all counts. Particularly on the 'keep at it' count.<br />I am wondering about the SF element, but happy to wait. For a bit.<br />And a minor typo. 'He grabbed all different kinds of colors form the new pencil set he bought from the store' Change form to from.<br />I hope your family health issues can be managed. Take care.Elephant's Childhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06650565833097914052noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post-24686553712532637582016-12-05T11:35:44.247-05:002016-12-05T11:35:44.247-05:00I took on board some of the items you picked up on...I took on board some of the items you picked up on, not too bad but would need more to form a better judgmnt!The Angry Lurkerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01227314379603418332noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post-33130329388222234712016-12-05T07:03:36.733-05:002016-12-05T07:03:36.733-05:00It seemed like a really calm beginning, but that m...It seemed like a really calm beginning, but that might fit the style of the story. (I had no idea it was science fiction either.) I tend to overuse the ly words as well, but they are easy to go back and eliminate or change. Interesting the character is an artist. Wonder where those paintings lead?<br />Have a wonderful Christmas, Marcy!Alex J. Cavanaughhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09770065693345181702noreply@blogger.com