tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post7132541246375241739..comments2024-03-28T05:05:30.116-04:00Comments on mainewords: first impressions #3mshatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06308916014310536449noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post-13623199513818947552011-03-09T16:33:56.549-05:002011-03-09T16:33:56.549-05:00Is this the first chapter? I agree with you, Marcy...Is this the first chapter? I agree with you, Marcy, it should be two different scenes. I couldn't imagine any reason why I would want to think about such stressful things before walking on a high-wire. The stressful fight and rape would prevent me from even thinking about getting up there. However, perhaps she's a strong woman. Great critique.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12160669603997465454noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post-88910698143989383782011-03-08T13:22:02.841-05:002011-03-08T13:22:02.841-05:00Oh, very cool idea for blog posts. I always liked...Oh, very cool idea for blog posts. I always liked reading other people's crits. I seem to learn something new every time.Anthony Rapinohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11581208296144295224noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post-67352146018378667762011-03-07T21:43:08.570-05:002011-03-07T21:43:08.570-05:00ntg, I really appreciate you submitting your first...ntg, I really appreciate you submitting your first page. I really enjoyed reading it.mshatchhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06308916014310536449noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post-9205110602401336992011-03-07T20:53:25.583-05:002011-03-07T20:53:25.583-05:00Marcy, thanks for the critique. I dearly needed s...Marcy, thanks for the critique. I dearly needed some fresh eyes to read this for me, and help me take it in the right direction. I appreciate it. Ella, thanks for articulating "show don't tell." It makes perfect sense and I think it might have been a concept that was right there in front of me, but I still wasn't seeing it. I'm glad I could share this beginning with everyone. Thanks for taking the time to read it. :)Kate Joneshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07201368041580207174noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post-69380147349326205702011-03-07T18:12:42.186-05:002011-03-07T18:12:42.186-05:00thank you Tina and Ella. I really enjoy critiquing...thank you Tina and Ella. I really enjoy critiquing because it helps me be better at spotting those potholes in my own work, plus, I just love to read :)mshatchhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06308916014310536449noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post-67534372139532315932011-03-07T13:55:19.756-05:002011-03-07T13:55:19.756-05:00I'm from Searsport, originally, near Belfast.
...I'm from Searsport, originally, near Belfast.<br />I use to live in Brunswick. I am married a sailor.<br />We made it back home three times, Winter Harbor, twice and Brunswick, once. I didn't want to leave...loved it there!~<br /><br />I'm learning, like you...what about show don't tell in some of your sentences. Show some of the fight last night, or the closet scene. It will stand out and be more memorable. Just a thought~ We need to some some of the images that play in her mind, to make it stand out in ours. It is intriguing...good start!Ellahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06070952447277684613noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post-53732134860941651462011-03-07T10:25:36.182-05:002011-03-07T10:25:36.182-05:00Me too! curious about the story. I really apprecia...Me too! curious about the story. I really appreciate this series too. The way you and Dianne critique the same piece comes from very similar places with different styles. I love how much I learn from your responses.Tina Laurel Leehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04482757085942311091noreply@blogger.com