tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post7776712690082695803..comments2024-03-28T05:05:30.116-04:00Comments on mainewords: first impressions - The Summer Shakespeare Saved My Lifemshatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06308916014310536449noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post-51600686887178702722012-11-03T21:40:50.906-04:002012-11-03T21:40:50.906-04:00The whole premise of brainy kid with an opportunit...The whole premise of brainy kid with an opportunity to attend Oxford vs. Berkeley type liberal sex therapist parents is fertile ground for some interesting happenings. Love the idea, and like everyone else, I think Marcy's critique is spot on.Susan Flett Swiderskihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09425315552148200073noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post-13219451702689363582012-11-03T21:07:39.371-04:002012-11-03T21:07:39.371-04:00Great crit Marcy! You made excellent points. I had...Great crit Marcy! You made excellent points. I had a few things to say and put them on Dianne's blog this time. :-)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07735576044552810103noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post-979832323782631762012-11-02T20:06:38.710-04:002012-11-02T20:06:38.710-04:00Hi Marcy!
Thank you for taking the time to read a...Hi Marcy!<br /><br />Thank you for taking the time to read and critique my work! I really get what you mean about showing and not telling, and I can have issues with that. I sometimes catch myself "talking" at the reader rather than "showing" the action. I will definitely be making some changes, and keeping an eye out for this when editing! <br /><br />Thanks to everyone for the advice and words of encouragement!<br /><br />SerenaSerenahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08812045153343791499noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post-74082280995760584502012-11-02T13:30:48.707-04:002012-11-02T13:30:48.707-04:00I loved the title, and definitely - the summer in ...I loved the title, and definitely - the summer in tights line. I think that your assessment is right on about showing versus telling. I think we should see those parents and her actions. Overall, I love the idea.Tyrean Martinsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15356604721537744361noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post-35120684924490045262012-11-02T10:50:01.396-04:002012-11-02T10:50:01.396-04:00You and Dianne must have had your "crit minds...You and Dianne must have had your "crit minds" in 100% alignment, though you usually do lol!!<br /><br />I really agree with your assessment and that in more showing it engages the reader more.Angela Brownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03324366495151363782noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post-80830963263406702422012-11-02T09:12:30.748-04:002012-11-02T09:12:30.748-04:00It's well written and I love where it's go...It's well written and I love where it's going, but I think Marcy is right about showing the scene, especially for an opening. Luanne G. Smithhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15762881276976395955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post-37789742082727442362012-11-02T07:22:42.927-04:002012-11-02T07:22:42.927-04:00I agree with your crit, Marcy. Switching from tell...I agree with your crit, Marcy. Switching from telling to showing would definitely speed up the pace and add flavor for the reading to taste.S.A. Larsenッhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06241633272588383935noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post-62326922839292669742012-11-02T06:41:10.114-04:002012-11-02T06:41:10.114-04:00Yeah, that one line really stuck out.
It read a li...Yeah, that one line really stuck out.<br />It read a little awkward, but when you asked if she could show rather than tell, I realized that was the issue.Alex J. Cavanaughhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09770065693345181702noreply@blogger.com