tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post6025529178489032498..comments2024-03-28T05:05:30.116-04:00Comments on mainewords: First Impressions - Ninja Squirrels of the One Hundred Acre Woodmshatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06308916014310536449noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post-21876331913102450402014-07-10T23:55:48.056-04:002014-07-10T23:55:48.056-04:00i agree with marcy. it's cute, but it has flow...i agree with marcy. it's cute, but it has flow issues. the dialog is slang and formal - ...Kon, to my friends vs ...don't know nothing. I like their names and seeing a squirrel story, tho! good luck!<br /><br />and marcy, thanks for supporting my BBF blog tour!Tara Tylerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07587802105993889515noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post-19185164999405546102014-07-08T17:23:02.652-04:002014-07-08T17:23:02.652-04:00good luck to Mike with his work! good luck to Mike with his work! DEZMONDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14127166104359407763noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post-26136421037148645962014-07-08T16:34:34.697-04:002014-07-08T16:34:34.697-04:00Congrats, brave Mike, for submitting your work for...Congrats, brave Mike, for submitting your work for critique!The Armchair Squidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10739833215220853127noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post-56100786733723173212014-07-08T16:22:46.930-04:002014-07-08T16:22:46.930-04:00A huge THANK YOU to Marcy for the opportunity. I c...A huge THANK YOU to Marcy for the opportunity. I can't tell you how much this helps me get this story off the ground. Grateful for all the comments and suggestions. I will definitely like to come back next time I have a first page ready (or think I have ready).Mike Hayshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06485884518411706201noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post-14752343648402004572014-07-08T16:19:21.590-04:002014-07-08T16:19:21.590-04:00You know squirrels, Stephanie, they rarely are wel...You know squirrels, Stephanie, they rarely are well behaved or cooperate. Mike Hayshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06485884518411706201noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post-45711694356652290672014-07-08T16:18:08.717-04:002014-07-08T16:18:08.717-04:00Glad to hear that Francis. The title came before t...Glad to hear that Francis. The title came before the story as I was mowing the lawn and getting barked at from all my "pet" squirrels. Then all the "what if's" started.Mike Hayshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06485884518411706201noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post-75555577730781671882014-07-08T16:16:03.600-04:002014-07-08T16:16:03.600-04:00Thanks, Alex. I am thinking about weaving the conv...Thanks, Alex. I am thinking about weaving the conversation, particularly the introduction in after they cross the creek. It's like putting a puzzle together. Mike Hayshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06485884518411706201noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post-15117422821178271942014-07-08T16:12:33.514-04:002014-07-08T16:12:33.514-04:00Thanks! I think the pieces are there, it just need...Thanks! I think the pieces are there, it just needs some rearranging. Mike Hayshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06485884518411706201noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post-47243625129952012322014-07-08T16:11:21.759-04:002014-07-08T16:11:21.759-04:00Great minds think...completely opposite. It actual...Great minds think...completely opposite. It actually makes sense to me, it means there's something good that is just not right. Thanks!Mike Hayshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06485884518411706201noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post-83381281259899452952014-07-07T19:58:43.610-04:002014-07-07T19:58:43.610-04:00I hate when it takes to long for the squirrels to ...I hate when it takes to long for the squirrels to start talking. That line just cracked me up!Stephanie Farishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10461865229341760836noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post-1732205889734343562014-07-07T11:13:25.885-04:002014-07-07T11:13:25.885-04:00The title alone is enough to drag you in and read ...The title alone is enough to drag you in and read a few pages.The Angry Lurkerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01227314379603418332noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post-78162018732912068672014-07-07T10:17:47.923-04:002014-07-07T10:17:47.923-04:00I had the same reaction to the first line. Super g...I had the same reaction to the first line. Super good. But the rest had me backtracking to see if the squirrels were, um, squirrels or what. <br />IMHO, the action needed to start quicker with less descriptions. The first line was a winner, loved it. Build from that moment. Let it speak for the day.Huntresshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08155372788872245758noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post-205292025631874832014-07-07T08:31:22.440-04:002014-07-07T08:31:22.440-04:00LOL, Marcy! I said the exact opposite about the fi...LOL, Marcy! I said the exact opposite about the first line!<br /><br />I always wonder what writers think when we give opposite suggestions. Scratch their heads and wonder, "WTH should I do now?" It just goes to show how subjective this whole business is!Dianne K. Salernihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16459839567235304842noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post-68117477037000184282014-07-07T07:23:41.849-04:002014-07-07T07:23:41.849-04:00Maybe flip it so the conversation is first?Maybe flip it so the conversation is first?Alex J. Cavanaughhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09770065693345181702noreply@blogger.com