tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post9044459694752870185..comments2024-03-28T05:05:30.116-04:00Comments on mainewords: First Impressions - mshatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06308916014310536449noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post-89273269174091597092014-02-06T08:28:12.540-05:002014-02-06T08:28:12.540-05:00Just a thought - you establish Xade as her persona...Just a thought - you establish Xade as her personal tormentor, more important than the others. Because of that, I think it might be more effective if he said "See, I believe you..." instead of "we believe you". Keeps his importance elevated. LD Mastersonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01202135756299574972noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post-1866885150574736102014-02-05T17:56:53.156-05:002014-02-05T17:56:53.156-05:00Get rid of the 'as' s - things happen in s...Get rid of the 'as' s - things happen in sequence in fiction, not simultaneously. It's very gripping. Why not make it chapater 1?M Paxhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14096697282530998519noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post-39858560783086143462014-02-05T17:29:30.681-05:002014-02-05T17:29:30.681-05:00The dog in your header photo looks really cold.The dog in your header photo looks really cold.Carol Kilgorehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03745686632918324803noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post-70274742876841582102014-02-05T17:17:17.873-05:002014-02-05T17:17:17.873-05:00Nice gripping beginning! I like! Eh, if anyone obj...Nice gripping beginning! I like! Eh, if anyone objects to it being a prologue, just call it chapter 1 or Before, or something else. ;o) I really liked the part when they brought out the syringe--very effective. Carol Riggshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14092209912983783974noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post-69263444280839451122014-02-05T17:06:25.394-05:002014-02-05T17:06:25.394-05:00I like it too. My only suggestion is there are a ...I like it too. My only suggestion is there are a lot of physical, action details that may be overkill. Pick one or two and then move on. Example: "I backed into one of the men. He wrapped his arm around my neck and squeezed. By the time Xade inserted the needle into my jugular, I struggled to breathe." Lizahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16170701034715108039noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post-21640956592876210632014-02-05T10:45:02.486-05:002014-02-05T10:45:02.486-05:00I liked it! It was smoothe and fast paced. Excelle...I liked it! It was smoothe and fast paced. Excellent job!shellyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09596621767297173021noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post-70651902862572638582014-02-05T09:21:36.738-05:002014-02-05T09:21:36.738-05:00I agree- great set-up. And I really don't unde...I agree- great set-up. And I really don't understand the issue with prologues - I always read them, too!Liz Blockerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16160510626027597666noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post-79726913024733357562014-02-05T08:50:02.482-05:002014-02-05T08:50:02.482-05:00what do you mean people don't snarl? :)) With ...what do you mean people don't snarl? :)) With some people that's the only way of communication :)<br />And that green eye scared the coon's tail out of me.... DEZMONDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14127166104359407763noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8733289016000331233.post-84250744815883287822014-02-05T07:45:50.416-05:002014-02-05T07:45:50.416-05:00I like it! Very tense. And some prologues are fine...I like it! Very tense. And some prologues are fine. I had one in my first book. (Although not in the other two.)Alex J. Cavanaughhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09770065693345181702noreply@blogger.com