The Eye That Never Sleeps - part three

Pinkerton (left) with President Lincoln

During the Civil War, "Pinkerton had two wartime duties to perform:  investigating suspicious people within the Union territory and gathering information from behind Confederate lines." This was a profitable time for the Agency, and not only in terms of cash but in experience as well.

One of the most notable cases Pinkerton investigated during this time was that of Rose Greenhow, a wealthy widow and Washington socialite who counted among her frequent guests Jefferson Davies, John C. Calhoun, and James A. Seddon, later the Secretary of War. Under the direction of Colonel Thomas Jordan (a Virginian), Rose Greenhow and her cadre of female spies sent an amazing amount of information - including blueprints of forts and military strength - via clerks, bankers, and army officers to Richmond. At one point her ring of spies had spread as far as Texas.

Finally, Pinkerton and his men observed through a window Rose Greenlaw accepting a map from an officer who then described the strength of the fortification shown on the map. Greenlaw and the officer then left the room, returning an hour later, after which the officer left. Pinkerton followed the man to the barracks where the officer, suspecting he'd been followed, alerted the provost and had Pinkerton arrested. HOwever, Pinkerton was able to get a message to the Assistant Secretary of War who, after hearing the evidence presented, summoned the suspected officer. A search of his room revealed enough evidence to convict him and have Rose Greenlaw arrested. She spent a number of months under house arrest before being transferred to the Old Capitol Prison. Eventually she was released and sent to Richmond where she was hailed as a hero and "reigned like an exiled queen."

In 1864, while trying to return to the Confederacy from Europe, the ship she was on ran aground near Wilmington, North Carolina. Although she managed to escape in a rowboat, it capsized and Rose Greenhow drowned, "weighed down by $2,000 worth of gold sewn into her underclothes."

The Eye That Never Sleeps - part two

Allan Pinkerton founder of The Pinkerton Detective Agency

Yesterday I was telling you about how Allan Pinkerton, founder of the Pinkerton Detective Agency, came to America and got his start in the business. We left off with Allan being hired by the railroads to protect it's interests, not only from without but from within. It was during this period that Pinkerton expanded on his techniques for spying on employees, techniques that would form "a central part of his future detective operations."

Something especially interesting I discovered, was that Pinkerton "hired the nation's first female detective." Kate Warne approached Pinkerton with the idea that as a woman, she could "worm out secrets in many places to which it was impossible for mail detectives to gain access." Pinkerton liked it and signed her on. Later he recalled that she never let him down.


By this time, Pinkerton was also aiding local and federal authorities. Although many cities had police departments by the 1860s, there was a serious lack beyond the city's borders and it was this void that Pinkerton filled with the creation of his National Detective Agency.

(tomorrow, the Civil War period...)

The Eye That Never Sleeps

No, not that eye (but it is a great 'eye' pic, don't you think?); I'm talking about the Pinkerton Detective Agency, which happens to play a part in my novel, PARADISE. Having decided to use the agency, my next task was to learn all I could so that whatever ended up in the book would be true to history.

Here, in five parts, I'll tell you a little about the Pinkertons, their founder, and how they figure in my tale.

PART ONE

The Pinkerton Detective Agency was founded in 1855 by Allan Pinkerton - a Scottish immigrant and son of a policeman. Pinkerton and his new bride settled in Chicago first, and then Dundee, where he worked as a cooper. However, it wasn't long before he was drawn into what would become his life long profession.

At that time counterfeit currency was a huge problem and although Pinkerton himself wasn't affected, the people upon whom he depended for business were. When he "accidentally" discovered the counterfeiter's  camp he wasn't long in returning with the county sheriff who was so impressed he asked for Pinkerton's help. Although initially reluctant Allan agreed to look out for counterfeiters on a "part-time basis."

By early 1850 Pinkerton was well-known as a deputy in Kane County and had come to the attention of the federal government which hired him to investigate counterfeiting. Additionally, he became a special agent for the Chicago post office which had seen a rise in mail robberies. Apparently, the folks who sorted the mail had figured out which envelopes had money in them and which didn't. Pinkerton sent a decoy letter which soon resulted in the arrest of one Perry Denniston and his brother Theodore. At the apartment of the latter, $4000 was found pasted to the backs of wall pictures.

By this time, railroad expansion brought to light a weakness in the local police force. The problem was that once the train left the city it was essentially unprotected until it reached its destination. If cargo was stolen or passengers ribbed, the railroad had no recourse. Of additional concern were the employees themselves such as the conductor who could let friends ride for free, sleep on the job, or pocket the money collected for tickets. In 1855, six mid-western railroads gave Pinkerton $10,000 "and the North West Police Agency was created."


(to be continued tomorrow.)

So...what now?

So. I've finished another novel - # 6 in case anyone is counting - and I've learned a few things. The biggest is that it's okay to have a messy first draft. My obsession with each chapter being perfect resulted in none of my early works being completed. I can't even tell you how many half finished novels I have sitting on my computer, the characters languishing, waiting for the day their lives can continue (and yes, that IS how I think of them. Always waiting for me to write their lives so they can have one). But once I let go of that obsession I finally completed my first manuscript. I won't say it's gotten a lot easier but I have learned how to move past the parts I'm not wild about, make some notes about how to change it, and get on with the story. I also found a new way to detour around the dreaded writer's block thanks to somebody in the bloggy world (thank you for that suggestion!) which is to write the end. Doing that helped me figure out exactly which direction to head in rather than taking a stab at it. And the last thing I'll share is the knowledge that finishing doesn't make it done. I knew as soon as I began writing that there would be revisions to follow and that those revisions (how many? As many as it takes) would be what really completes the book, turn it into the kick-ass scifi I envisioned when I started.

So. What now? Now I get to take a break and play with the SNTs (shiny new toys) I found or go back to an older unfinished work or maybe I won't write at all and just read. In a month's time I'll begin round two of the polishing process, after which I'll send it out to be read. Then we'll see if my story is as kick-ass as I think it is...


Now. What are you doing? Where are you in this crazy process we call writing? Taking a well-earned break? Furiously revising? Just found a shiny new toy? Do tell.

Finis!

I am happy to report that I have finished my kick butt scifi, NO REST. Now, where is my cake?

Jessica Bell's Adverbs and Cliches in a Nutshell

Too many adverbs and clichés in your writing? I've got just the fix for you.
by Jessica Bell

Writers constantly have rules thrown at them left, right, and center. Show, don’t tell! Stop using so many dialogue tags! More sensory detail! More tension! Speed up the pace! Yada yada yada ... it can become overwhelming, yes? I used to feel overwhelmed by it all too. In fact, I still do sometimes. It’s hard enough to get the words on the page, let alone consider how to put them there.

In Anne Lamott’s Bird by Bird, she says that in order not to be overwhelmed, a writer needs to focus on short assignments. She refers to the one-inch picture frame on her desk and how that little picture frame reminds her to focus on bite-sized pieces of the whole story. Basically, if you focus on one small thing at a time, the story will eventually come together to create a whole. I believe the same applies to learning the craft of writing. If writers focus on one aspect of the craft at a time, the process will seem less daunting and piece by piece it will come together.

My name’s Jessica Bell, and my own struggles with feeling overwhelmed inspired me to write the Writing in a Nutshell Series of pocket-sized writing guides. So you can learn to hone your craft in bite-sized, manageable pieces. In the first book of the series, I focused on demonstrating how to transition “telling” into “showing.” In Adverbs & Clichés in a Nutshell: Demonstrated Subversions of Adverbs & Clichés into Gourmet Imagery, I deal with another of the most common criticisms aspiring writers face: to absolutely avoid adverbs and clichés like the plague. But see, right now, I just used one of each. I also used a couple in the first two paragraphs of this post because they come naturally, and we utilize them frequently in everyday speech. But in fiction, too many adverbs and clichés weaken your prose. It’s considered “lazy writing,” because it means we don’t have to show what’s happening.

If your manuscript has too many adverbs and clichés, it most likely means that the emotion you felt while writing it is not going to translate to the reader in the same way. So how exactly can we approach the subversion of adverbs and clichés? For starters, play around with simile and metaphor when you’re trying to convey emotion, and for action, use strong verbs to show it happening in real time.

The key? Think smaller details rather than the bigger picture.

Need some help and inspiration?

In Adverbs & Clichés in a Nutshell: Demonstrated Subversions of Adverbs & Clichés into Gourmet Imagery, you will find thirty-four examples of prose which clearly demonstrate how to turn those pesky adverbs and clichés into vivid and unique imagery. Dispersed throughout are blank pages to craft your own unique examples. Extra writing prompts are also provided at the back of the book.

“Jessica Bell's latest pocket guide, Adverbs & Clichés in a Nutshell, will inspire you to leave bland behind and pursue your creative best. With force and clarity, she demonstrates how adverbs and clichés hobble vibrant writing. She then marks a course toward unique expression and provides workouts that will help writers at every level develop a distinctive voice.” ~Laurel Garver, freelance editor, author of Never Gone and Muddy-Fingered Midnights

Purchase links:
Amazon US | Amazon UK | Amazon Ca | Kobo

Bio: The Australian-native contemporary fiction author and poet, Jessica Bell, also makes a living as an editor and writer for global ELT publishers (English Language Teaching), such as Pearson Education, HarperCollins, Macmillan Education, Education First and Cengage Learning.

She is the co-publishing editor of Vine Leaves Literary Journal, and the director of the Homeric Writers’ Retreat & Workshop on the Greek island of Ithaca.

For more information about Jessica please visit:
Website | Blog | Twitter | Facebook

Interview with author Donna K. Weaver

When Lyn sets off on her supposedly uncomplicated and unromantic cruise, she never dreams it will include pirates. All the 25-year-old, Colorado high school teacher wants to do is forget that her dead fiancé was a cheating scumbag. Lyn plans a vacation diversion; fate provides Braedon, an intriguing surgeon. She finds herself drawn to him: his gentle humor, his love of music, and even his willingness to let her take him down during morning karate practices. Against the backdrop of the ship's make-believe world and temporary friendships, her emotions come alive.

However, fear is an emotion, too. Unaware of the sensitive waters he's navigating, Braedon moves to take their relationship beyond friendship--on the very anniversary Lyn is on the cruise to forget. Lyn's painful memories are too powerful, and she runs from Braedon and what he has to offer.

Their confusing relationship is bad enough, but when the pair finds themselves on one of the cruise's snorkeling excursions in American Samoa things get worse. Paradise turns to piracy when their party is kidnapped and Lyn's fear of a fairytale turns grim. Now she must fight alongside the man she rejected, first for their freedom and then against storms, sharks, and shipwreck.

Today I am delighted to have author Donna K. Weaver here with me. Donna is a navy brat and U.S. Army veteran, and has lived in a number of U.S. states as well as South Korea, the Philippines, and Germany. An avid cruiser, she’s sailed the Pacific four times and after retiring from from Shorei Kempo Karate with a black belt, she decided it was time to put her imaginary friends and places on paper. She lives in Utah with her husband. They have six children and eight grandchildren. And right off the bat I'm dying to know the name of these six children and holy cow how did you manage six kids?!

Those six kids (all adults now) were part of a 'yours, mine, and ours' blended family--though I birthed five of them. I was widowed young and had a son and a daughter--David and Erin. My current husband brought a daughter with him from his first marriage--Shanna. Together, we had three sons: Robert, Paul, and Adam. No 'interesting' spellings for us.

I used to wonder if I could ever get caught up with the laundry, and then I realized I'd have to make everyone go naked for a day to do that. Um, no. lol  Managing? Organization and delegation. Make cleaning up fun--not with a spoonful of sugar, of course--but turning it into a game.

Well, congratulations on bringing up a tribe! I know what it’s like to belong in one and wouldn’t trade it for the world. Tell me, what does your family think about your publishing venture? 

Most of them are really excited for me. One son, though, is incredibly smug. I wrote the book just to see if I could write a full-length novel. I never dreamed of pursuing publication, but he said I should try. As I learned and edited and learned some more and edited some more, he continued to bug me about it. Now, he's pretty snarky with his arrogant "I told you so" comments. *sigh*

Heheh – sometimes kids think they’re so smart, don’t they? Speaking of your publishing venture, what has the journey been like so far?

It's a journey I didn't realize at first that I was going on. I'm a voracious learner, so I've been anxious to learn as much as I can and try to get better. Once I decided that I wanted the full experience--you know, the whole submission/rejection thing--I did further research. By this time, I had become friends online and in person with many wonderful writers and authors who were great resources. 

I took to heart a remark made at a conference by author James Dashner (Maze Runner series, etc.). He said he wanted to have something positive to look forward to, so he determined that he would take his wife out to dinner with every 10 rejections. I was so happy when my publisher, Rhemalda, wanted my story.

That must’ve made your day! Tell me about Lynn, your main character. Where did you find her?

Lyn just kind of grew. I knew she was going to be on the cruise with a friend (Elle), but I wanted Lyn not to be a huge socializer. This would give her more opportunities for alone time--and chances to interact with Braedon. Obviously, she had to be recovering from a huge hurt, so she would be vulnerable. However, I wanted her think--incorrectly--that she was handling her hurt well. And poor Braedon--completely clueless about her history--walked right into it.

And where did he come from? Did you already have someone like him in mind or did you discover him somewhere? Love the name by the way - very manly :)

The book began as a dream where a guy and a gal were marooned on an island with a tree house. I thought it would be handy, therefore, that the guy was a doctor. I wanted him to be capable yet also dealing with some of his own issues, and I wanted him to have shared interests with Lyn. It needed to be organic that they would enjoy spending time together. While I wanted the frosting of a physical attraction, I wanted it to be so much more. I wanted them to fall in love, not in lust.

That sounds like a fun dream and how cool that it grew into a story! I do like a good love story *sigh* Was there any part of the book that gave you trouble? And if so how did you work through it?

Part 2, for sure, where they are marooned. I wrote and cut and wrote and cut, depending upon what kind of approach. Was it going to be all about the survival? (I have a dear friend who wishes it was.) Was it going to be just about the love story? A combination? If I ever put together a collection of cut scenes, most of them will come from Part 2.

I noticed in your bio that you’ve lived in some far away places and I wonder if there was anything in particular you miss about any of them? Incredible beaches? Great food? Awesome beer, perhaps? You did mention Germany…

It's a very eye-opening experience to live in other countries. Some of them were extremely poor, and I learned to value the affluence we have in the U.S. It would be interesting to visit some of those countries again and see them through adult eyes. I would especially like to visit Germany again because I only had the chance to visit half of it, since I lived there before the wall came down. While I don't drink beer, those Germans sure do. Two-liter beer mugs! And their fest beer has a much higher concentration of alcohol. The Germans work hard and play hard.

I have heard that about German beer and I completely agree about spoiled Americans. My sister lived in India and Singapore and I think we don’t realize how easy life is for us. But enough reality! If you could temporarily switch places with a character from a book – yours or someone else’s - who would it be and why?

I think it would be Sara in Anne McCaffrey's "Restoree". That book has long been one of my favorites by one of my favorite authors. I love the characters and culture she created. While I wouldn't want to go through the terrible things Sara does (are we authors mean people?), I'd love to go for a visit.

Thank you, Donna, for stopping by today and answering all my questions and the best of luck with your new book. And for Donna's fans, here's the trailer... 

first impressions - THE MACHINATIONS OF DR JEKYLL

 Our final submission of the month comes from fellow UB author and almost neighbor, Alicia Willette-Cook. This is the first page of her steampunk wip, THE MACHINATIONS OF DR JEKYLL. My comments will be in purple and do go see what Dianne Salerni had to say about this first page - here. 

Chapter One - 

 “She’s got quite the nerve, I must say. Five invitations to tea in one month.” There was, of course, no response from the battered hulk of useless Clockwork taking up room on the divan next to Henry. (I might start a new paragraph here even tho it’s the same person speaking) “I said. She’s got...oh never mind. Incompetent pile of dreg.” He heaved himself up from the couch and made his way through the cluttered room to his desk to read the embossed letter again.

Your Presence is Requested at

the Grand Palace

by Her Majesty Queen Victoria

for High Tea

1Pm

Sharp

Thursday

Please RSVP via AutoBalloon.

Then in her tidy scroll (I like this telling little detail) underneath, she had taken the time to write out: “No games this time, Jekyll. N&B ~Vicki.”

He crushed the thick stationary in his hands, tossing it in the incinerator along with the other trash. He absently picked up a scarred crystal snifter and poured a splash of whiskey. “Tea. As though that would fix anything. Infuriating woman.” His eyes stared blankly out the small porthole window directly behind his desk. Just as he was about to turn away, the sun glinted off a small machine darting behind the clouds. Henry growled in frustration, dropping his glass heedlessly to the floor.

“Really, Victoria! StealthWings? Do you really think I can’t out fly them?” Reaching above his head, he grabbed for a dangling pair of binoculars and squinted through them. Seconds later, the small machine broke through the cloud cover for a few moments before diving back in, clearly trying to follow the great airship without being seen. Spinning from the window, Henry raced to the door, barking his shin against a pile of loosely piled rattan and wood baskets. Goddamn crap everywhere! Useless USELESS clockwork brassmen. God I miss my lab!

Just as he was about to holler for his automated butler, the small two way (should it be two-way?) ariel on his desk squelched to life. He froze as a distinctly female voice cried out over the aether, obviously in distress.

 “Mayday! Mayday! Harbringer5 to W Class Airship! Do you copy? Mayday!”

Henry ground his teeth and frustration knowing this to be yet another ploy of Vicky’s. Maybe if he waited for another minute he wouldn’t have to respond. She would just...go.

“W Class! Do you read! Level One Mayday! Please Respond!”

Just another minute....

There was a horrible staticy squelchy noise over the radio. Silence.

Henry smiled tightly to himself. Well. That was...

"...Jekyll. Please. I've been shot."

 Well, I rather like this first page, I have to say, in fact, I liked the whole first chapter. I just wish there had been more when my writing buddy Alicia (who actually lives in Maine, nearby!) sent the first chapter because I would've kept on reading. I like all the details that describe this place like the rattan and wood baskets (makes you wonder what sort of ship this is that would have such things) and I love the voice (Useless USELESS clockwork brassmen), Jekyll's, which is obviously disgusted with how things work, or rather don't work. And then of course there's the name, Jekyll. Just knowing that the infamous Dr. Jekyll will be taking center stage in this tale intrigues me to no end. I just wish this one was on the shelves.

Write Club

Write Club is back and better than ever! DL over at Cruising Altitude is hosting Write Club for the third year and it should be a lot of fun so click on the button and check it out - maybe I'll be reading one of your submissions over there :)

first impressions - AND WE ARE ALL DAMNED

  Our second submission of the month comes from Sarah Turnbull, AND WE ARE ALL DAMNED, a Gothic horror novel, which Sarah describes as of a similar vein as A Great and Terrible Beauty and Clockwork Angel. You can follow Sara on twitter @thesaturnbull. My comments will be in purple and if you want to see what Dianne Salerni thinks of this page, head over to her blog, In High Spirits. 

 CHAPTER ONE

“As Raymond would have wanted,” Veanne said, clinking her clay mug to her brother’s. She took an inexperienced mouthful of foamy pine cider and burped, immediately pleased by the chance to be improper.

“Bless you,” said Haeden.

“‘Bless you’ is for sneezes,” she replied, pinching his arm. Veanne took another sip, smaller this time, and admired the mirror behind the bar, etched with climbing ivy and forget-me-nots. At the top, a pillar and scroll clock sat, wooden dial stopped at the doctor’s time of death.

Veanne’s heart sunk in her chest. The aromatic scent of brandy and hops was a warm reminder of the man who had raised her and Haeden as his own. If Raymond was important I might add a little more about him here.

She slid off her bonnet, even though she knew her ears were still red, and toyed with her curls, attempting to arrange them into some sort of acceptable shape. (Toyed seems like the sort of thing a girl would do to attract attention to herself while arrange is a different thing entirely - imo.) Without her hat, the bustle of the alehouse streamed louder and more chaotic. A welcomed distraction. From what? Her grief at Raymond's loss or something else? Show us or tell us if you can.

Peasants (I'd like something more specific than peasants. Tradesmen? Ragpickers? If you name them they'll make a better picture.) made up the majority of space and noise, happier away from the cold scrutiny of the upper class. Few of Haeden and Veanne’s age, and those that were carried steaming cups of coffee and mulled wine to patrons. Extra hands hired by the Vintner.

In the center of the house, a pair of familiar faces invited the siblings over.

“Welcome, young bantlings,” cheered Seamus Hartwell, pulling out a chair. “Here, have a seat.” What's a bantling?

“Thank you,” said Veanne, accepting.

Haeden followed her lead.

“Put your stampers up,” added Deri Wren. The cobbler’s untidy, red hair had achieved an unusually chaotic arrangement that night. He gestured to the misshapen platter of stacked smoked ham, charred apples, and crumbling fire-cakes on the table in front of them. “Fine fare tonight.” Like this description.

“Seems so,” said Haeden, pinching off a piece of cake before downing another swig of cider.

Seated and silent, Veanne observed her surroundings.

The Awry Anchor’s oil lamps, sporadically placed and too numerous to count upon first inspection, hung on cherry cedar walls. In the back of the alehouse, haloed by an engraved whitewashed mantel, a cold hearth rested. Four marble-coated posts divided the room into neat quarters, interspaced (do you mean interspersed?) with a mixture of russet-colored chairs and walnut box tables, overflowing with boisterous patrons.If this is YA I'd suggest a single description of the place with a few telling words.

One or two more blasé gentry littered the room, out of place in their fine apparel. They sipped dainty beverages and murmured in low tones. (Why are they here? What brings the rich to this place and isn't anyone curious why they're there?) Veanne assumed they discussed the political repercussions of Raymond’s death. That or finances.

Aside from the few places where I had questions this reads fine. What's missing for me is a connection to one of the characters. I assume Veanne is the mc and if that's the case I want to be in her head more. I want to know how she's feeling about Raymond's death. Is she grieving? (she doesn't seem to be) Is she and her brother underage? Will this change their circumstances? I want to hear some of the thoughts flitting through her head, especially the worrisome ones because those are the ones that will connect me to her and make me want to read on. Does this make sense? 

What do you think? Agree? Disagree? Do tell.

Me, a debut author

As some of you may have heard, I've signed with WiDo publishing for my first book, PARADISE. I have a feeling the title will change since it's not mentioned in the release but I'm not attached to the current title much more than I was the first one I came up with: ALMOST PARADISE. I looked that one up and there are a million books with that title, but none with just Paradise. Anyway. It remains to be seen what my debut will be called but check out the press release. It's almost like I'm somebody. Pretty cool, huh?

just click on the pic which has absolutely nothing to do with any of this. It's just pretty.

first impressions - SECOND DEATH

 

Today I want to thank Gwen Gardner for submitting the first page of her novella, SECOND DEATH, a YA Paranormal Cozy Mystery. It's the sequel to Givin' Up The Ghost, which is available to purchase here. You can find Gwen at her blog. My comments will be in purple and I hope you'll add your own and/or pay a visit to Dianne Salerni who is critiquing this same first page on her blog. If you would like your first page critiqued, just check out the instructions on my sidebar, top right.

“Are you sure this is the right address?” Badger scanned the tall buildings scowling down on us, and in particular the one we stood before. An old Victorian industrial covered with centuries of grime and soot, the rusted lock melded closed, the key long gone. Love this short description which instantly gives me a picture of the place in just a few words. 

“Bloody hell,” Simon whispered. “You don’t expect us to go in there?” His voice cracked at the last.

I shone my flashlight down at the paper in my hand and nodded. “This is it all right. Can’t you feel it?”

Simon gaped. “I’ll tell you what I feel. I feel this is a bloody daft idea and any sane person would be at home in bed in the middle of the bloody night.” He jammed his hands into jeans pockets, his blond hair a fluffy cloud against the dark and mist. He shot me a mutinous glare through amber-brown eyes.

I had to agree. The gray fog-filled street looked a friendlier alternative to the dingy, decrepit building. But insane or not, we had to go in. Never mind that we were going to hell for breaking and entering, not to mention the possibility of jail time.

“Hey, can you lot keep it down a bit?” Badger hissed. “I don’t fancy going to jail tonight.” With a last covert glance over his shoulder, Badger pulled a pair of bolt cutters from under his jacket. One snip snapped the lock in two.

I held my breath at the resulting echo, announcing our indiscretion down the street like an old gossip. “Come on, let’s get inside before anyone sees us.” I struggled with the door handle before it came free. Another loud screech echoed down the cavernous street. We quickly stepped inside. The dark corridor was silent as a long neglected grave. The only sound, my heartbeat in my ears.

“I’ll go first,” said Badger. “Indigo will be with me.” He entwined his fingers with mine in a tight grasp. “You take the rear, Simon.”  

 Simon mumbled to himself, but loud enough for us to hear. “Yeah, thanks a lot. ‘Cause you know they always grab the last bloke in line in those scary movies and he’s never seen or heard from again. Unless of course, he’s a zombie.” I'd probably write this like this: "Yeah, thanks a lot," Simon grumbled, "'Cause you know..."

“Shhhh. I can’t hear with you back there grumbling.” I sputtered and flailed both hands around my head trying to rid my lips and face of clinging cobwebs as we made our way down the corridor. This dialogue tag feels a little awkward to me, esp. the word sputtered, which I associate with someone who can't quite get the words out because they're too upset or defensive. Also there should be a comma after grumbling, not a period.

             
“I don’t look good in blood, all right?” he hissed back. 

Okay, so not a whole lot to crit. There's a couple of spots I might reword but that's really just preference, or style. I like that I can hear the English accent so know that our setting is likely England. I do wonder if it's necessary to have read Givin' Up The Ghost in order to know who Badger and Indigo are. Does SECOND DEATH stand on its own or is the series meant to be read in order? The only thing that bothers me a little is that I don't know who these characters are except by what I read in the blurb at Amazon, so I wonder if a small explanation somewhere in here, telling the reader Who Indigo is and what she and her pals are planning. This might actually increase the tension if the reader knows that something even more awful than jail awaits them if they're caught. Of course, I also realize that all this might shortly be explained was I able to read on. Which I would have. In fact, having read the blurb I now want to read the first book first and then work my way through :)

 

Oh, and I just have to mention that James Garcia Jr.'s' book, Seeing Ghosts, releases today... 

  

Congratulations James!

Sunday pics - Great Blue

Great Blue Heron, that is, who was hanging out in the small pond (more like a marshy pond, no more than a few feet deep) next to my house. Trying to stab a meal, no doubt. I was hoping to get a pic of the Canada Geese and their goslings who live there but they must've been napping. The Great Blue was quite cooperative however; I was able to take a bunch of pics and he never moved.

Have a fabulous Sunday :)

Interview with Hart Johnson

Roanoke, Virginia, is home to some of the country’s most exquisite gardens, and it’s Camellia Harris’s job to promote them. But when a pint-sized beauty contest comes to town, someone decides to deliver a final judgment …

A beauty pageant for little girls—the Little Miss Begonia Pageant—has decided to hold their event in a Roanoke park. Camellia is called in to help deal with the botanical details, the cute contestants, and their catty mothers. She soon realizes that the drama onstage is nothing compared to the judges row. There’s jealousy, betrayal, and a love triangle involving local newsman—and known lothario—Telly Stevens. And a mysterious saboteur is trying to stop the pageant from happening at all.

But the drama turns deadly when Stevens is found dead, poisoned by some sort of plant. With a full flowerbed of potential suspects, Cam needs to dig through the evidence to uproot a killer with a deadly green thumb.

 

First I’d like to welcome Hart Johnson, also known as Alyse Carlson, who has kindly consented to stop by and answer a few questions about her new book and other things…

Hart, I’m so happy you could stop by. I understand that The Begonia Bribe is what is known as a cozy mystery. Can you explain what that means for folks who might not know?


Cozy mysteries still have a murder (or two) to solve, but there are a couple features that make them different.  Violence tends to happen off the page--they are low on the blood and gore (and the victim is usually fairly dislikeable). They tend to stick to a PG line, so no swearing or sex (you can allude a little, but always shut the door). The sleuth is an amateur who somehow ends up compelled to solve the mystery (maybe a loved one is accused or in my case, Cam is the Public Relations gal, and murders keep happening at events she is working on)  And cozy mystery readers really want to be able to solve the crime along with the sleuth, so all the clues need to actually be in there and trickled through the book (along with several red herrings so it isn't too easy). And then the piece of Cozy Mysteries that I like best: they tend to have some humor to them.

I like the idea of humor in a mystery. Can you give an example of that in The Begonia Bribe?

Most of it is character quirks, but the example that comes to mind that I can get across quickly is the case of Rob, Cam's Sports Reporter boyfriend. His boss, knowing the pageant needs coverage, has decided Rob, the sports reporter needs to cover it because there is competition involved (that makes it a sport, eh?). Cam's best friend Annie is acting as photographer for the pageant and asks why he is there. When Cam answers for him, Annie says, "Oh, Rob! You get to use all your pretty words!"

I like both the set up of the macho sports reporter having to cover the kiddie beauty pageant, and the dynamic. Annie, Cam's best friend has funny interactions better than half the time. It's just how she is. She likes to tease and goof off. In fact she might channel a certain online Tart you know.

LOL. Sounds like Annie and I would get along just fine. But tell me about the main character, Cam. You’ve written about her before, I believe, and I’m curious about how you first discovered her. Did she come with a story or was she a mystery?

This series was one the publishers recruited for--an editor had a town, a 'theme' (gardening) and a list of about ten characters. Some had jobs and others had relationships to the main character. So Cam was 'defined' though that is loose. All I got was that she handled the public relations for the Roanoke Garden Society.  It was my job to infuse some personality.

My first real life job was in advertising and my first degree was journalism, so a number of my college and early working peers worked in PR. I know the field well. So I decided to make Cam a bit of a control freak (easiest to make events go smoothly if you are totally in control) and then balance her with Annie to bring out her fun side.  The pair of them actually have a lot drawn from my lifetime best friend and I, but I re-mixed the traits--all the serious, professional ones went to Cam and all the zany, outrageous ones went to Annie. I figured since the total mix was the same, the friendship dynamic could have the same balance, which has made it really fun to work with.

Can you explain what you mean by ‘recruited for?’

It is a Write for Hire, though it wasn't a full call for submission--they asked a couple agents they worked with 'do you know a writer well suited for this' so I was actually referred to 'audition'--wrote the first 50 pages to have them see if I was a good fit.

Well isn’t that the coolest thing! And isn’t The Begonia Bribe #2 in the series? Which must mean you’re doing something right! Tell us how you found out about this opportunity. Or did it come as a complete surprise?

It was a three book contract--the first was The Azalea Assault, so that is the one I 'auditioned' with. The Begonia Bribe, other than the continuing characters, was much more 'all mine'.  The opportunity came as a fluke. One of my writer friends, Elizabeth Spann Craig, http://mysterywritingismurder.blogspot.com/ had been encouraging me to give cozy mystery a chance because my blog voice fit it so well--sort of zany, but still able to carry a point. Her editor and agent actually asked her if she had time to write it, but she was in the midst of two series at the time. She suggested me to her agent who talked to the editor and they agreed to let me give it a shot.

You must’ve been thrilled! And three books! Holy Cow? Any idea what the third one will be about?

TOTALLY thrilled. It was a little surreal, really--to be one of the rare people who got a book deal (or at least the opportunity) because of my blog voice. I definitely snuck in there sideways.

As for the 3rd book, I've actually already turned it in. The premise is a political fundraiser--Annie's dad is a former state senator, so Cam and Annie get roped in from different directions. Neither is thrilled, but they decide the perfect fundraiser is a murder mystery dinner... no way THAT can go wrong, eh?

Lol. That sounds fantastic. You’ve totally got me interested in this series! Now, by any chance do you write anything else besides cozy mysteries? If so can you tell us about it?

I do!  In fact MOST of my stuff is different. I'd classify it as suspense, but am trying to master thriller. I write both YA and adult suspense that I haven't managed to sell. I had a near miss (acquiring an agent and submitting to publishers) with one called Kahlotus Disposal Site, YA, narrated by a ghost who finds her former mental hospital opening as a reform school.  I haven't given up on it, but I think it's missing a spark and nobody has told me how to find that. My latest books though, seem to be apocalyptic in nature.  My education is psychology and I love exploring the dark places people go and the surprise of which ones can tap resilience in awful situations. I'm toying with releasing those apocalypse stories serially.  I've been very inspired by Susan Kaye Quinn who is releasing her Debt Collector series like that right now. The one I'm currently polishing though, is a mystery--my beta reader called it cozy meets noir; I call it sassy. It is a microbrewery based mystery in Portland, Oregon and is just a little darker than cozies called What Ales Me. I hope I can sell that one traditionally.

I love that title – What Ales Me – and I hear you on trying to get an agent and get published traditionally. It’s a long road. Now, for my last question: What’s the last book you read you wish you wrote? And why?

Fantasy aside, because who WOULDN'T love to have written the Song of Ice and Fire series but I don't have the imagination for fantasy... probably The Compass Master. Helena Soister is a friend of mine and so it caught me a little off guard that someone I knew could write something so fantastic... it is a little like The DiVinci Code, only a female heroine (an ancient documents 'hunter') and the history is more accurate (in fact completely accurate) and the writing more solid than DiVinci Code.

Now that sounds interesting; I love historical thrillers involving ancient documents! Thank you, Hart, for stopping over. I love hearing about the different ways we all write and get published. You’ll have to keep me posted on book #3 – cover? Title? Publication date? Let me know! And thanks again for coming by – this was fun! 

click on the book to buy, and click on Hart to find out more about her at The Watery Tart :) 

Find me here, where my M post was chosen to be a part of this anthology. I am honored!

Damariscotta Mills Fishladder Restoration Festival

Here in Maine, we celebrate Memorial Day in typical fashion, with a parade in the morning to honor those lost, and a barbecue in the afternoon to welcome in the summer season. Not so typical is the annual Fishladder Restoration Festival, held here in Damariscotta Mills (a mere five minute ride from my house), where you'll find Maine's oldest and most productive Alewife fishery.

But what are alewives, you might be asking. Well. Let me show you...they look like this:

Can you see them? There's a lot! Alewives are members of the herring family, possessing slender bodies, greyish green on their back and silver on their sides and belly. They spend most of their life at sea but return to freshwater to spawn. They are also a primary source of bait for lobstermen each spring. Here's another shot of them from higher ground. They look like little snakes, don't they? Wriggling their way through the water...

Anyway. If you're ever interested, here's what else you can look forward to:

Breakfast & Lunch

Smoked Alewives

Fish Goods & Gear Sale

Antique Car Rides

10k Raffle Tickets For Sale

Face Painting & Ice Cream

Lots of Live Music

Restoration Tour

Mulligan’s Smokehouse

Top & Bottom of Ladder

Lower Ladds Hill

Fish House

Alewives Fabrics

Fish House

Mid-Lower Ladder 

How does your town celebrate Memorial Day?

Days of Blood and Starlight

I recently finished reading this book, the sequel to Daughter of Smoke and Bone, a book that's probably in my top five of 2011. I've actually had it a while and the only reason I didn't dive into it immediately is because I knew there's still another book to come. I figured I would lessen the painful time between books. Because I can't wait for the next one.

I won't post the blurb, on the chance that you haven't read the first book, (I wouldn't want to spoil anything!) but I do highly recommend this series, especially if you like monsters :)

Enjoy your weekend -oh! And Dianne and I still have one slot left for June's First Impressions. If you're interested we'd love to have you. Just email one of us the first page to your manuscript.

International Be Positive Day

"Do you have a happy place?  You know, the place that you feel your very best.  Your heart is content. Your mind relaxed.  A place that you go to (physically or mentally) where you can breath.

Saying positive things not only helps the person who reads it feel better, but it also helps the person who wrote it.  Let's face it, writing is a hard gig.  There is more rejection than acceptance in this industry, but we can help each other by showing our support for our fellow writers and friends (and even strangers) by saying or doing something positive."

 Sharon K. Mathew invited folks to participate in this and I thought it was a great idea. Here's my little slice of happiness:

This is the condo I stayed at with some of my family a few years ago on Sanibel Island. Right through that opening and up the stairs to the fourth floor...

This is the view from our condo to the beach we sat on, played at, swam, and walked to our heart's content.

This is me at the bird sanctuary right around the corner.

And this is the lighthouse we walked to our last day, collecting shells along the way, wading in the warm waters, and wishing we didn't have to get on a plane and go home quite yet...

Sanibel is my happy place. I don't think I was ever more relaxed or at peace than when I was walking along that beach and searching for the perfect shell. If there's a Heaven, this is mine, and yes! You are welcome to share :)

Where is your happy place?

PARADISE - SOLD

Well, this isn't the first time I've done things out of order and it probably won't be the last but I can finally call myself an author now that I've sold my first book. Yep, you heard it right, PARADISE, my time-travel historical romance (I like to think of it as Romancing the Stone meets Tombstone) has been picked up by WiDo publishing for their 2014 line-up.

Now, that doesn't mean I don't want an agent, cuz I do, but Jack and Katherine have been languishing for some time, wondering if anyone would ever get to hear their story and when WiDo offered...well, we decided to go for it :)




ps the pic is Tombstone, circa 1882.

Interview with author Dianne Salerni

The year is 1867, and seventeen-year-old Verity Boone is excited to return from Worcester, Massachusetts, to Catawissa, Pennsylvania, the hometown she left when she was just a baby. Now she will finally meet the fiancé she knows only through letters! Soon, however, she discovers two strangely caged graves . . . and learns that one of them is her own mother’s. Verity swears she’ll get to the bottom of why her mother was buried in “unhallowed ground” in this suspenseful teen mystery that swirls with rumors of witchcraft, buried gold from the days of the War of Independence, and even more shocking family secrets.

Today I am very happy to have Dianne Salerni, the author of said book, here to answer a few questions. I read The Caged Graves way back when it was a baby wip, and the first thing that struck me was the main character, Verity Boone, a character I liked from page one. 

So my first question for you, Dianne, is where did you find Verity? And did you find the name first, or the character? 

I started planning this book after writing a manuscript with a main character who lied all the time. In THE CAGED GRAVES I wanted to create someone completely different, so I conceived of a girl who always told the truth -- even when it was uncomfortable to do so -- because her name was Verity and she was determined to live up to her name.

Unfortunately, in 1867, a 17 year old girl who is outspoken, forthright, and truthful can rub people the wrong way -- including the fiance who wooed her through letters and now finds her difficult to get along with in person.

Hmm, I wonder if I might know that character who lies all the time…but nevermind. We’re here to talk about Verity and Nate, the fiancé in question. I loved the scenes where they keep saying the wrong things to each other. I especially loved those scenes because they didn’t seem at all contrived. Nate particularly struck me as such a real character. Did you model him after anyone?

Not only was Nate McClure NOT based on anyone real, he didn’t match the character in my outline. Nate asserted himself the first time he appeared on the page, rejecting everything I had planned for him. The Nate who showed up for this story is the long-awaited and much adored male heir of a wealthy family after three older sisters. In spite of this, he’s not conceited – just very serious and very sure of himself. Verity challenges him in ways he’s not accustomed to.

Their bumbling conversations, where each one misunderstands the other, unfolded before me, unplanned. It was as if I were eavesdropping on this young couple, promised to each other in spite of being almost total strangers. And I actually felt bad for Nate when a more glib and upbeat, charming young man makes a play for his intended … as if I were an observer and not the person writing this story at all.

Ah yes, Hadley Jones, who isn’t mentioned in the blurb…tell us about Hadley. Was he a planned character? Did he behave as expected? 

Hadley Jones was planned to be the doctor’s apprentice and a rival love interest. But he did not behave as expected! He was supposed to be the serious one, but Nate nabbed that role, and Hadley showed up as a playful and lively character who took a liking to Verity and didn’t want to see her given away as a bride in a “land deal.”

Hadley was fun to write, because I never knew what he was going to say next. His unconventional doctoring made me laugh even while writing them. “Bite me and I’ll bite you back,” he promised a particularly recalcitrant child. Like Nate, he took charge of his own personality. I was just along for the ride.

Were there any other characters who surprised you in The Caged Graves?

Yes, there’s Asenath Thomas, who was not much older than Verity when she died and was buried in a caged grave. We don’t get to know Asenath in person because she’s dead when the story opens, but we learn about her through the diary of Verity’s mother. I didn’t have much about Asenath planned out when I started writing the first draft. (Well, there’s hardly a point when the characters don’t follow the plan anyway, is there?) But when I came to the part of the story where Verity finds her mother’s diaries and begins to read about the events of 1852 – the year the two women died – Asenath revealed herself to me.

Asenath Thomas, by the way, is one of the names on the real caged graves, as is Sarah Ann Boone. I kept the names of the women buried in the Catawissa caged graves – and the names of their husbands – but made everything else up.

Which leads me to ask if you know anything about the real women and the real graves? Is it true it remains a mystery why these graves were caged?

The two women were sisters-in-law. Asenath was married to Sarah Ann’s brother. They died within a couple days of each other, although there is no record of the cause of death. The local historical society postulates a few theories – such as the cages were meant to deter grave robbers (medical students needing bodies to practice on), or the cages were decorations meant to show off the family’s affluence. But none of the theories are completely satisfying. Why would these two bodies attract grave robbers? It was a remote mountain town nowhere near a medical school. And while the cages are decorative in their own way, they are also creepy. Why would anyone think a CAGE was an appropriate grave decoration?

I agree, those answers are not even a tiny bit satisfying nor do they make sense. After all, if there were any truth to those theories then surely there’d be more caged graves and these are the first I’ve heard of! I guess it’s a mystery that will remain one – for now.

Speaking of mysteries, lets see if we can’t dispel the mystery of publishing for anyone who might be curious. I know The Caged Graves has only been out a few days now but I’m curious about how it got from your agent, to where it is today – available for purchase. Can you tell us about that process?

I was agent-less when my first book, We Hear the Dead, was published in 2010 – and very naïve about how the publishing business worked. I realized I needed representation because I was terrible at negotiating for myself. I queried my second novel (the one with the lying MC) while I was writing The Caged Graves, and in December of 2010 I received an offer of representation from Sara Crowe of Harvey Klinger Inc. The first book went on submission while I revised The Caged Graves with Sara’s input. Eventually, that book also went on submission in the summer of 2011. Dinah Stevenson of Clarion Books expressed an interest in TCG, but had reservations about certain aspects of it. She asked if I’d be willing to revise three chapters for her and address some of those issues. I revised six chapters, to prove I was a hard worker! A few days later, Dinah offered for the book.

Just to highlight the timeline on that – I wrote The Caged Graves in 2010, sold it in 2011, revised it for Clarion in 2012, and it was published in 2013.

So, three years from start to finish. That’s a long time! I think as writers one of the hardest lessons we have to learn is patience. I also know that the waiting doesn’t end once we have an agent or a book deal. What are some of the things you wait for and what do you do to distract yourself in the meantime?

My agent is so wonderful, I never have to wait long for her feedback. But once a manuscript goes on submission, a nerve-wracking waiting game starts. After a book is sold, the timeline between offer and publication is generally eighteen months, so there’s a lot of waiting along the way. The way I distract myself? Always the same. I keep writing.

I hear you there; that’s what I do, too :) Okay, now it’s time for some easy questions – about you! First up, if you could live anywhere else for a year where would it be and why?

Easy! London. I lived in London for a month during a Winter Session in college. I loved the city – the historical places – and the easy access by bus and train to the neighboring countryside. But I was horribly lonely. As long as I could take my husband with me this time, I’d love to spend a year in London.

*sigh* I’d love to live in London for a year and explore some of the countryside – especially some of those country houses…

As you know, I’m always interested in what other people are reading, but here’s a bit of a twist on that question for you: What was the last book you read that you wish you wrote? Why?

Code Name Verity. It was so unbelievably twisty. And talk about your unreliable narrator! The main character lied and lied and lied – and I knew she was lying, but I still couldn’t figure out where and when and to what end. Of course, the book was heart-breaking as well. I sobbed at the end. Even though my first book, We Hear the Dead, has a sad ending, I can’t take responsibility for it.  That’s how the true story of Maggie Fox really ended. But Code Name Verity broke my heart. I even forgive the author for using my MC’s name, LOL. After all, it was just a code word.

Ooh, I’ve heard of that book and was intrigued by the story, and, of course, the name. Now I know I need to ask my library for it. Thanks! Last question: Guilty pleasure?

Vodka martini, straight up, with olives.

And potato chips.

Not together, necessarily.

Heheh. Thank-you Dianne so much for coming by and congratulations on The Caged Graves; I couldn’t be more thrilled for you :)