I am not the person you think I am

As some of you may know, I have an aversion to spiders, or anything that might resemble them (which isn't hard now since my eyesight SUCKS!). I once had a spider in my ear and had to go to the ER to get the fucker out. Once out, I asked that the spider (still amazingly alive) be released. That's how I try to be. Yes, spiders give me the heebie jeebies, but that's my fault, not theirs, no reason that my irrational fear should result in the demise of a fellow creature, right? 

So. A few weeks ago Jennie (my boss's wife) and I found a MASSIVE spider in the basement at work and she was all ready to step on it. I quickly found a jar to put over it and managed to get it outside. Mind you, I had a good scream when I first saw it, no doubt amusing the hell out of the guy who was looking at the oil and gas cans. I tried to explain. It was a spider, and a REALLY big one. He didn't say much. I do wonder what he thought, but whatever.

Anyway. That's the sort of thing I usually do when confronted by my fear.

 The grasshopper incident did not follow that plan.

Here's what happened.

I was picking flowers in the yard for a bouquet because flowers are cheery. I had them all ready in the vase and was taking said flowers to their spot by the stairs when I saw that something was on me. An insect. A LARGE insect. I had no idea what it was at first (blind MFer remember?) and used the vase to get it off me . I can't believe it and the flowers survived in light of how many times I had to rub the vase against whatever the fuck was clinging to my shirt before I got it off.

Once gone, I put the flowers down and saw that Silas had noticed the grasshopper I now recognized because I wasn't in panic mode. He was pawing at it, biting it, and I thought, fine, just kill it and this will be over. Unfortunately, Silas doesn't really have a killer instinct. He was a little nervous. Maybe the thing's feelers felt funny. Maybe it smelled funny. I don't know. But it took a long time before that grasshopper was dead. Too long. I finally picked up its limp little body and put it in the trash.

Silas is at the far right, Bruno in the middle and Lulu left

A few days later I was walking Bruno and the whole scene played itself out in my mind for whatever reason and I thought, "My God, you are a monster."

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In other news, I finally finished my WIP, THE READING ROOM, and am now working on revisions. I've been a shitty reader but I did very much enjoy The Magic of Found Objects by Maddie Dawson, along with M. Knight's Old. Although not up to the standards of The Sixth Sense or Signs or Unbreakable (imo), I still enjoyed it, and the actors (every single one) were incredible along with the aging effects.

I do hope you are all well and stay that way!