Agnosticism:

an intellectual doctrine or attitude affirming the uncertainty of all claims to ultimate knowledge.

Believe me, I wish it were otherwise but I need more evidence. And yet, even without it I cannot dismiss the faith of others, which is why I waver constantly in this sea of uncertaintly. Is there a God? Surely there must be some higher intelligence that had a hand in this place we call home. It does seem suspiciously designed for more than just our survival. And then again, maybe it is all just evolution and mutation. Do we suvive death? I'm afraid not, but is it possible that that which is me (and I'm not talking about my body) could possibly be permanently extinguished? It feels...wrong. But that may only be wishful thinking, that part of all us that does not want to accept death. How I envy people who have faith in God and an afterlife, or those who are certain of another life, albeit in a different body. How I wish I wasn't afraid that my brother is right and that death is the all too swift and permanent end of life. He, at least, is certain. I, on the other hand, have nothing but questions. For example, if there is an afterlife with God (heaven, or something like it), why wouldn't He make certain we all knew it so we would be decent to one another in an effort to get in? I mean, who wants to go to Hell and burn? Or, if we do reincarnate, where do new souls come from? Are they created? From what? Where? How? And again, if that is the way, then why isn't it advertised? Don't we all want to become enlightened - well, ok, I'm not quite ready yet, still enjoying earthly pleasures and all that, but at some point I am certain I would be ready to join the ranks of those who know - ? So you see my dilemma, and, I suppose, the dilemma of all agnostics; we just don't know. We think too much. It keeps us awake at night. It worries us. And the worst of it is we may never know.