First impressions - The Key Collective

Well hallelujah a-z is finally over and if you finished then a big congrats to you. It was fun but a lot of work and I'm ready to get back to business as usual. It being May, Dianne and I have three new, never before seen first pages which we will be critiquing on our respective blogs. First up is this one from Alicia over at Saffron Wine. This is the first page from her Steampunk novel, THE KEY COLLECTIVE. My comments are in purple and you can find out what Dianne thinks here.

She found the key under his bed.  Not that she was looking.  She didn’t even know the guy. Why would she be looking under his bed, for crying out loud. (question mark?) Assignations are odd like that.  One minute you’re locked in the most intimate of embraces, the next you’re crawling around on his floor, ass in the air, looking for your sock.  Instead you find this key. It was just a key.  Nothing special about it.  But when her fingers touched it she automatically grasped it, glanced over her shoulder and hid it in her fist like a child sneaking away with stolen candy. Very interesting beginning. Is she a prostitute? An agent? And why does she take a key that does not belong to her? Hmm...must read more!
           Twenty minutes, money exchanged, and an awkward hug/cheek kiss good-bye she was finally able to get a good look at her stolen treasure. She leaned against a battered guard rail under a flickering florescent light in the building’s basement parking garage, and slowly unfurled her tightly clasped fist.  
           The weird pinkish yellow light seemed to be absorbed by the thick brass key cupped in her hand, giving it an odd greenish color.  It was about three inches long, fairly freshly cut, or rather, not used much. She felt the raw edges scrape over her callused fingertips as she twisted it around and around.  There weren't any distinguishing markings on it but she couldn’t seem to put it away, turning it over and over in her chilled fingers. Anoria raked her long, tangled hair out of her eyes and hunched her shoulders deeper into her threadbare navy pea coat.  Idly, her fingers twisted the key around again, rubbing it between the thumb and forefinger of her left hand. What was that groove in the head? She brought the key closer to her eyes, moving it directly under the unsteady light.
           In the pocket of her coat her cell buzzed. Startled,she jumped and almost dropped the key on the damp pavement.  “Goddamn it!” She muttered halfheartedly, (The exclamation point after goddamnit isn't consistent with the word 'halfheartedly'  - imho. I might lose that word) “What the hell can you possibly want at this time of night, Braedon?” She shoved the key deep in her pocket and wrenched the phone out, flipping it open. Text message.  Sender Blocked.  

           “What the hell…?”  Curious, she hit the open key.  Two words blipped onto the screen.  

          “Look Up.”  

         

Really loved this beginning. If I had picked this book up in the store I would've already been on my way to the checkout counter. Happily. The only thing I'd watch is if when you're writing close third, be careful how much personal info (threadbare coat) you use since your character wouldn't be thinking of those things (the hair yes, because it's in her way). She might try to hide the frayed edges of her coat so no one else would notice but I don't think she'd be noticing or thinking of the threadbare coat after having stolen a key or while she's inspecting it. Does that make sense?

Anyway, really not too much to crit here. There's great voice and even though I know very little about this character I am very interested to see what's going to happen next. Now, what do you guys think? Would you read on? Do tell :)