Friday, March 15, 2013

previously...

(previously)


...I imagine the entrance to hell being like a truck stop at an intersection in the middle of nowhere. There's a gas station and a convenience store with apathetic clerks. Whatever you're looking for they won't have; it will be expired, stale, broken, or otherwise useless. Downstairs in the basement - damp, windowless, bright florescent lights on the ceiling that flicker, weeping cracks - is the office where everyone works in little cubicles doing meaningless tasks. Probably Satan comes around every now and again, just to poke and prod everyone for fun. He's like everyone's worst nightmare CEO, profits are everything and to hell with everything else. Literally.

There's a woman who works the desk. She's been there a long time. She greets the newly dead and directs them where to go, answers the phones the old fashioned way, tied to a cord that's always in knots. The reception is terrible. There are post it notes everywhere, never a pen when you need one, and almost everyone is either a dink or a whimpering slave - except for her and a few others. They have a name for themselves but I can't remember what it is. I wonder what she did to deserve this.

I could have fun with this place, these characters. Hmm, I may have spotted a new toy. MUST NOT LOOK!



29 comments:

  1. I think you have the beginnings of a great story!
    Where on earth did you find that photo? Surfers and vegetarians going to hell - funny!

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    1. I thought it was hilarious - and rather un-American!

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  2. Vegetarians are going to hell? Really? Are cannibals in the clear then?
    I love your setting/character ideas. I have a black comedy (about a ghost who's a ghost-buster) that won't leave me alone, but sadly, it doesn't ever seem to bubble forth with plot and scene ideas either. I hope you get more out of yours! :-)

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    1. Well, they didn't mention cannibals so I think they're in the clear...

      I like the idea of a ghostly ghost buster!

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  3. vegetarians go to hell? Wonder who made the sign.... must be Satan himself....

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    Replies
    1. Or if he didn't he's sitting somewhere laughing his ass off.

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  4. This sort of reminds me of some of the scenes from Beetlejuice with Michael Keaton. The case workers, waiting forever with other unfortunate dead folks- I loved that. Love your ideas here too, a little more gritty (being hell and all...) :)

    Good grief, I fit into a couple of the categories on that lovely sign. I guess I'll take a notebook, pen and sense of humor and make the best of it!

    Best of luck on finding a much better job! :)

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    1. yes, I'm afraid I'm going to hell, too, and thanks :)

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  5. I agree with Lexie~ your scene-setting reminds me of Beetlejuice (in the best way possible)! That photo is hilarious :)

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    1. I laughed when I found it; it was just so perfect.

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  6. Wow, that job interview really made an impression on you. Write it!!

    And I already know I'm going to hell. I'm really good at getting those knots out of the phone cord though. :)

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  7. Interesting...

    Hugs and chocolate,
    Shelly

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  8. Bahahaahahah! I'm literally laughing out loud right now. I think I woke up Fred who was snoring. I loved this piece and that picture is priceless. You know they missed writers in that sign, right? I may post this on my FB page. LOL. Thanks for the laugh. I need to go read previously now.

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  9. Yes. I've been working there for almost 7 years now.

    Also, regarding that sign...exactly who does that leave NOT going to hell? I'll bring the chips and dip.

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    1. Excellent question since that pretty much covers everyone. And if you're bringing dip I'll bring drinks ;)

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  10. I thought of the Beetlejuice scene too! In my mind I added that there were pens, but they all failed to write!

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    1. Oh good idea! No functioning pens. I may have to consult with some of you on this!

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  11. Occupiers?
    Technically doesn't everybody occupy something?

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    1. I believe you're right!

      It's like Jim Morrison said; people are strange.

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  12. Hmmm, remind me to never go to a Church of God. That sign is too funny, but whoever identified all those "sinners" doesn't have a sense of humor. On the plus side, if musicians are doomed, at least there will be music and dancing...

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    1. Yeah, in fact, it looks like hell will be a lot more fun than heaven ;)

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    2. I didn't even notice it was a Church Of God until your comment. My sister belongs to one of those. Their beliefs scream "whackadoodle".

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  13. sweet analogy! love t! and whats up with that sign!? certainly not encouraging anyone to go there...

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  14. Literally! Surfers? Ouch. Thanks again for posting my cover amongst such nice-looking company.

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  15. Looks like writers are golden. As well as murderers and thieves. Good grief.

    Much luck on your Bright Shiny :)

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  16. Funny sign. I LOVE the flowers at the top of your blog. Visiting on the A-Z

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