first impressions - Unbreakable

Here’s the first page of Katie Loud’s novel, Unbreakable. You can find her here. My comments are in purple. Dianne's can be found on her blog.

I.

(Susy; Emerson, NH; September, 2006)

            I felt revulsion toward my son today. This is a pretty strong opening. I wonder if you want to use the word revulsion tight off, before we find out what Seth has done to earn this feeling. Just asking though.

            There have been times in the past that Seth (and, to be fair, his siblings) has upset me … but never anything like this. 

            Never before have I been unsure I wanted to lay claim to him. To disown one’s own child…it seems he would have to do something really horrific to deserve this. Did he? 
            “He’s only twelve,” my husband told me when I called his cell in near-hysterics.  “He doesn’t get it.”  He let me rant for another minute before interrupting to say that he was calling the school as soon as he hung up to request that he be called first in the event of further disciplinary issues concerning our children.

            Of course, I started laughing.  “That isn’t funny.” I’m not sure why she’s laughing. Is it because she’s overwhelmed by what has happened? Or maybe it’s the ‘of course’ I object to. We hardly know Susy yet.

      “Yeah, I’m getting the impression that you really feel that way,” he said soberly, only making me laugh harder.  “Okay, I’m in the middle of a meeting, but I’ll be home in a couple of hours.”

            “Is there any way you could pick the kids up from school?”
            “Sure, no problem.”  He paused for a minute.  “Honestly, Susy, it really isn’t that big a deal.”

            “No, it wouldn’t be to you,” I said, more sharply than I’d intended.

            He didn’t say anything for a long second.  “You’re not implying …”

            “What, that you’d ever refer to a scholarship student as welfare trash?  That you’d use the word spic?  No, I know you wouldn’t.  That’s the thing, we’ve raised a kid willing to bully someone because of their race or socioeconomic status.” Is this what Seth has done? Bully someone? Admittedly awful, but as someone who has been on the receiving end I’m still not sure it warrants revulsion. But again, just my opinion. And of course, maybe there’s more than bullying…this is just the first page here.

           “He’s a good kid, and I’m not making excuses.  I’m probably more upset about this than you are.”

           “You just keep the histrionics out of it, right?”

           I could hear the smile in his voice.  “You said it, I didn’t.  Seriously, I have to go, Suse.  Eddie just came out and tapped his watch for the third time.”

Well, I’m definitely interested to find out just exactly what Seth has done and whether Susy and her husband can work this out together. It sounds like she’s taking it seriously and he’s not. And of course, there’s the question of why Seth is bullying. Is he feeling powerless? Is he acting alone? And what about the kid he bullied? Definitely an intriguing beginning. Great dialogue.