Monday, May 21, 2012

Lightning Flashed - blogfest

Lightning flashed, illuminating the flat wet stones, grass grown long between them. Her feet stepped lightly, carefully, ankles flashing white beneath the hem of her skirts. She glanced back at the castle, shadowed by mist and rain, pausing long enough to see that her spell of gloom held before hurrying forward on silent feet.

The path soon narrowed, and the stones turned into steep steps that cut between a thick knot of tall trees, down to the river and the stone wharf, one of many the royal family maintained. This one, however, had been forgotten.

Or so she’d been told.

It didn’t look forgotten, she thought, noting the lack of debris revealed by each crack and flash.

She pulled her cloak closer, peered into the dark. Eyes narrowed, she scanned the shadowy tangle of wood and bramble that hid the wharf until the smallest of movements caught her eye. 

“Show yourself,” she said.

A moment later a light flared, and she let go an inaudible sigh, putting her knives away.

Her Master stepped forward, bringing the light with him. “I am glad to see you have not grown soft and forgetful…” he said, crossing the space between them.

And as soon as he was close enough to touch, the rain ceased above their heads. It still fell all around them, hard and fast, splattering against stone, filling cracks, hitting leaf and branch.

“We are safe now,” he said. “No one can hear our words, even if by chance you were followed.”

She didn’t ask how. Only envied the trick and wondered how long until she learned it.

“Soon,” he said, sensing her thoughts, her desire, “But first, the matter at hand, the reason you were sent here.”

She looked up at him, hope fluttering in her chest. Had the time come at last?


To read more flash fiction from this blogfest, go here - and enjoy :)

ps 303 words, a tad over...

36 comments:

  1. I like the creepy feel. I really enjoyed the second paragraph. Love the visual I got. Great job!

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  2. Oooh!! I hope the time had come at last too for her!! Yay!!! Take care
    x

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  3. but what happens!? you left us hanging! tease!

    great job!

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  4. This is great. There are so many questions that I need answered, would definitely read more. Who is she? Did she just leave the castle? What is it she's waiting for--had the time come at last?

    Love how the weather plays a role in the story as well.

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  5. Very nice magical tale!

    I did feel a little disoriented with leaving "She" unnamed, but in some ways I also think it helped the overall 'who's there?' atmosphere.

    Enjoyable and entertaining!

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  6. The anticipation in this piece was great. Thanks for sharing.

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  7. Great visual imagery, but want to hear more! LOL!

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  8. Thank you for entering my 2nd Annual Flash Fiction Blogfest! The six finalists will be announced on Friday, May 25th. I will further comment on your entry on Thursday.

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  9. Wonderful, but hey! Where's the darned ending??? It isn't nice to leave an old lady hanging ...

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  10. I want to know what happens next!!!

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  11. Great descriptions, really made it easy to visualise it all. The open ending was intriguing!

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  12. Very nice writing. And I agree - I want to know if the time has finally come, too. :) Best of luck!

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  13. I'm with Alex, I want to know what comes next too!

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  14. Spells and knives...a great combination with the sneak-and-creep atmosphere cleverly evoked with your wonderful word choice.

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  15. Nice cliffhanger! Momma likes!

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  16. I apologize to everyone who wanted an "ending." I'm not very good at short pieces and these blogfest prompts inevitably give me ideas for longer works and this one was no exception. Maybe it will turn into something but for now, all I can tell you is that 'she' doesn't have a name yet but I do know she's a spy, having been placed in the castle by her Master.

    Thank you everyone for coming by :)

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  17. I know the blogfest has limitations...but could you write a little more...pretty please?

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  18. Ahhh, what a cliffhanger! :) Sucked us in and let us suffer!

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  19. Great! This kinda sounds like one of those blips you get at the beginning of a book... ... ?? :) I love the imagery. Very well done!

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  20. I really enjoyed this! Cliff hangers are the best.

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  21. What?! The time for WHAT? *sigh* Great premise and build. I'm still waiting for more of the story. How about a "To be continued..." in the next post, eh? =)

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  22. A cliffhanger ending! Drives me crazy :) This story had me from the first image.

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  23. But... but... the time for what??

    Allison (Geek Banter)

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  24. Incredibly descriptive. Excellent post.

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  25. The time for . . .what? dancing in the rain? a spell to wipe out the royal family? her sacrifice? a sailing trip in the storm? aah - the suspense and my imagination are killing me . . .
    on a more sane note - Loved the description, and your compelling, interesting characters. Good job!

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  26. Oh I loved this. I'm so happy to see so many participants in Cherie's brilliant blogfest. And you're writing is spellbinding. Thank you for posting it :)

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  27. I would like whatever power it takes to make the rain stop just over me. That's awesome.

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  28. Very nice, but it ended too soon! LOL Good job and nice sense of mystery, Marcy. :)

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  29. I'm intrigued to see where this story's headed. :-)

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  30. The time had come at last for what? I want to know more! :)

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  31. I heart that she cast a "spell of gloom" to get away to meet her Master! Wish I knew his trick with the rain too; I'm always losing my umbrellas. ;-) Cool story!
    Some Dark Romantic

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  32. I want to know more! You better finish this :D

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  33. Ack! What time? Oh, I want to read more. Great job!

    I'll announce the finalists tomorrow.

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  34. I apologize again for the cliffhanger, which wasn't very nice of me, I admit. But I'll tell you what, if I can come up with an outline for this idea, and finish my current wip, I'll give this one a go, k?

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